How to have fun via email

In college, everyone wants to put you on their mailing list. You could be someone who makes little children cry, and you would still get emails from the Student United Way asking you to volunteer. Occasionally I overcome apathy and request to be removed from a mailing list, but mostly I just delete everything they send me.

The other day, however, there was a little uprising, and about 10 or so people replied to an email asking to be removed. They, of course, did not understand how to operate email, and lovingly clicked reply all so that everyone might witness their request to be removed.

Queue angry email from club officer:

Most people would respectfully go on with their lives, but most people are not me. This email presents a wonderful opportunity to take the joke too far.

So I hit

and sent out this little gem

EMAIL ANARCHY

Waiting

Waiting sucks. This is how it makes me feel:

Networking

Today I sat through a seminar on research skills, and today we learned about networking. As a college student, I have heard the word networking on a daily basis.

Networking is supposed to:

1. Get you a job

2. Get you an interview

3. Be fun

4. Be difficult

5. Be easy

As you can see, some of these things are not like the others.

Here is a graph of what networking actually is:

WHAT DOES PINK STAND FOR? Maybe it's something as mystical as networking...

Pyramid Power

I was browsing Amazon for a book last night, and this popped up on the 'recommended' list:

I was very excited, and naturally I wanted to learn how to use pyramids to better my life, so I checked some customer reviews. Here is my favorite:

Excerpts:

"I...made my own pyramid water...when I drink it, I can think better. I don't know how it does that!...It makes water an elixir, by expanding the molecules"

I don't know what is more problematic: "Tianca's" statement about expanding water molecules to make an elixir, or the fact that 29 out of 34 people found her review helpful.

Meanwhile, I've decided to write a similar book:

How to Annoy Ben in Class

So in my animal behavior class today someone was all like:

What a great question. Alternatively,

Photo credits:

#1: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mirounga_leonina_male.JPG

#2: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Elephant_seals_fighting.jpg

Less climactic endings to Harry Potter...

1. Harry and Voldemort postpone their duel for several additional books (and several additions to J.K. Rowling's house), only to work things out in the end.

2. Voldemort realizes the error of his ways, gives Christmas back to the muggles, and has his heart grow three sizes that day...

3. Harry dies of food poisoning after eating some of Kreatcher's nasty cooking.

4. Hermione fails a class...

5. Zombie apocalypse.

Ok I guess...

Fine, I guess I'll start blogging again. It consumes a good chunk of my time, but it's about the only place that I can post my newest Michele Bachmann jokes:

1. Michele Bachmann is running for president because she needs a bigger closet, and the White House has a great master bedroom. Michele's husband also likes closets...

2. Michele Bachmann joined the Tea Party because she loves playing princess and has a lot of imaginary friends.

3. Sarah Palin is still mad at Michele for stealing her hairdresser...

4. The status of Michele's eternal soul is still under dispute due to her time working at the IRS.

5. Michele's autobiography, "My Story," was originally slated to be a picture book, but reviewers found it much too frightening for children.

http://memewhore.tumblr.com/post/10246894407