How Graduation Works...

I've been to two commencement ceremonies in the past two weeks. Here are my observations for how they work.

1. Line up and wait to get to your seat.

2. Wait for the graduates to form a line and enter.

3. Wait for the graduates to line up and wait.

4. Wait for their names to be read.

5. Clap, a lot. Clap extra loud when you hear your friend/relative's name.

6. Wait for the faculty to clap.

7. Watch the faculty line up and leave.

8. Wait for the graduates to line up and leave.

9. Wait in line to leave and wait for the graduates.

10. Line up your car to leave the parking lot.

I am convinced that commencement is a ceremony designed expressly to annoy me.