How to wait in a line

(Inspired by Cedar Point)

1. Locate the line you will be waiting in and race everyone around you to get there first.

2. Once in the line, immediately complain about the dynamics of the line.

Possible complaints: length of line, pace of line, odor of nearby line members, volume of nearby line members, etc.

3. After the first fifteen minutes of line waiting, give up all hope and obnoxiously tell your line neighbor that you will never see the end of the line. If possible, complain to the people in front of you so that they will leave the line.

4. Text a friend about how obnoxious it is to wait in lines. They are obligated to be sympathetic because they are your friend.

5. Hum, sing, or whistle the song that has been stuck in your head all day at full volume. If you're lucky, it will be stuck in everyone else's heads soon.

6. Become excited when nearing the front of the line by making grandiose statements and mocking those in the back of the line.

7. Upon reaching your goal, immediately flaunt the product/outcome to those in the back of the line. Their anger towards you is your reward.

8. Run. The people in the back of the line were actually extremely angry at you.