Blank Inside
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Things you can't trust
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Bad Advice
Suing for Slip and Fall in a Winter Wonderland
Monday, December 6, 2010
5 Things NOT to do before finals
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Taylor and Byrnes Present: Gourmet Coffee (NOT)

Friday, December 3, 2010
Katy Perry Explains Thermodynamics (What your chem teacher won't teach you)

Katy Perry, our national treasure, offers a nuanced understanding of thermodynamic principles in her song “Hot N Cold” (though her grammar needs improvement)
The premise of the song is that “you're hot then you're cold, You're in and you're out.” Here Katy Perry discusses the complexities of thermodynamic equilibrium. The object of interest was clearly placed in an environment colder than that of the original object. Thermodynamic equilibrium dictates that the warm object will decrease in temperature, transitioning from hot to cold. The energy, transferred as heat, is first “in” the warmer object, but it is increasingly “out” due to the transfer of energy as heat.
We then move on to this lyric: “The same energy Now's a dead battery.” Unfortunately, this is a flawed statement. While the warmer object now has less thermal energy, it is certainly not devoid of energy. Absolute zero is not achievable, thus this is a flawed analogy. This is perhaps the only weakness in Katy Perry’s scientific analysis.
The song ends on an important note. Katy reveals “I should know (I should know) you're not gonna change (change).” Here she references the idea of conservation of energy. The overall energy state of the environment will not change; the original amount of energy is simply redistributed, not decreased. This is a fundamental law of thermodynamics, and Katy exhibits her strong understanding of physics in incorporating this into her song. Well done.
Image credit: http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/18628061/Katy+Perry.png
Thursday, December 2, 2010
An Open Letter to You, Bro
An Open Letter to the Girl that is Constantly In My Way
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Free Weezy (aka I'm back)
Sunday, August 29, 2010
More Literal Rap Lyrics

Saturday, August 28, 2010
Ikea...which is Swedish for Dirty Rotten Lies




Thursday, August 26, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
How to start a meaningful conversation... (How to never make friends)

It's kinda like the time when I got chili in my beard and then had to ask the kind folks at Stanley Steemer Carpet Cleaning to clean and steam my beard...
Thursday, August 12, 2010
How Haircuts Work

1. Wait awkwardly for hairdresser.
Friday, August 6, 2010
The Creeper Installment (Ben Goes Antique Shopping)
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
S.N.O.O.K.I (Because I already waste your time with Ke$ha)
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Unlikely Public Service Announcements
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Dis, Right Here, Is My...Swaggg
5 New Careers for Ke$ha
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Why Primary Season Is Annoying (An Open Letter)

Dear prospective Judges, Senators, and Representatives,
Hearing a recorded message describing how great you are is not my idea of an idyllic afternoon. In response, I think I will be recording my own propaganda message and calling each of your homes. Since I have fewer homes to call, however, expect a call about once every five minutes.
Also, your campaign signs are littering the entrance to my home. Again, in response, I will be setting up signs in front of each of your houses promoting my name for no apparent reason. Since I have to purchase fewer signs, however, you can expect them to be roughly five times the size of your signs.
Thank you for your time. I will only be voting for the least evil of you.
Sincerely,
Ben
Image credit: http://blog.mlive.com/chronicle/2008/08/large_01campaign_signs.jpg
Monday, July 26, 2010
Some Ideas I Want to Pitch to You...
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
How to wait in a line
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Twiderp

2. Women don’t like men with back hair.
3. The insurance on a teenager driving a brand new Volvo is astronomically expensive.
4. My dishes sparkle, not my skin.
5. Vampires are not real. Ever.
Image Credits:
http://twilight-review.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/EdwardCullen1.jpg
http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/9900000/Regina-George-regina-george-9999018-922-1400.jpg
http://www.twilightcartel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/jacob-werewolf-two-versions.jpg
Thursday, July 15, 2010
4 Craigslist Ads You Need To STOP Posting
Monday, July 12, 2010
Ke$ha Translation
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Would you be my friend...

Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Happy Historying!

Unfortunate versions of otherwise important historical quotes:
One if by land, two if by rhinoceros.
Give me liberty, or not, I guess, but I would really prefer liberty.
We, the old white men, of the United States, in order to become super powerful…
Mr. Gorbachev, this wall is really blocking my view of the other part of the city. Can we just put up a nice chain-link fence instead?
A pretty big curtain is rapidly descending over Europe, but I wouldn’t make too much of a fuss because it goes nicely with the décor.
Image credit: http://www.insertfishhere.com/images/Abraham-Lincoln-5-17-04-2%20copy.jpg
Monday, July 5, 2010
Idea for a Price Tag
Thursday, July 1, 2010
5 Fun Things to do with Ke$ha!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
How Microwave Dinners Work (Please Kill Me)

1. Ooooh delicious teriyaki rice bowl with tiger shrimp!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
How CPR Works (What I learned during CPR training)*
*Probably (and by probably I mean definitely not) endorsed by the Red Cross